Classic Raccoon Never Hold Your Farts In They Travel Up Your Spine Into Your Brain Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Premium DTG Printed Apparel – Made to Order

Picture this: you throw it on, look in the mirror, and just know it’s the one. Soft Gildan® fabric, print that pops, comfort that lasts all day. This isn’t just a shirt – it’s a mood.

📸 The photo features a T-Shirt, but you’re not limited to that! This design is available on T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Pick your style and we handle the rest.

What Makes It Hit Different

• 🎨 Looks Fresh, Stays Fresh – High-res DTG printing captures every detail. Machine-wash friendly.
• 🧵 Comfort-Level: 10/10 – Gildan® blanks with OEKO-TEX certified dyes. Soft on skin, gentle on the planet.
• 👕 All-Day Comfort – Classic fit with taped seams and a tear-away label. Zero itch, zero irritation.
• 🇺🇸 From American Farms – US Cotton Trust Protocol certified. The good stuff, sourced the right way.

What It’s Made Of

• Cotton Tees & Long Sleeves: 100% US cotton at 5.3–6 oz – naturally soft and breathable.
• Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 8 oz, 50/50 cotton/poly blend – cozy, durable, resists pilling.
• Fabric note – Sport Grey (90/10 cotton/poly) has a slight poly blend for that classic heather finish.

Find Your Perfect Fit

Not sure about sizing? Check our charts below:

1. Browse colors and compare with the chart.
2. Use the size guide for the best fit.
3. Add to cart and you’re all set!

Shipping Details

• ✅ Production Time: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 US Delivery: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ US Rush Option: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 Rest of World: 1–2 weeks.

Each piece is printed on demand after you order. Double-check your size before checkout. Size-related returns aren’t available, but reach out if you need any help – we’ve got you.

🛒 Browse the collection at DistortTees.com. Every piece, premium quality.