Official Balloons Are So Weird Happy Birthday Heres A Plastic Sack Of My Breath Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Custom Printed Gildan® Apparel – Designed for You

Real talk: life’s too short for boring clothes. This piece is DTG-printed on genuine Gildan® blanks – vivid colors, premium feel, zero compromises.

📸 What you see is a T-Shirt mockup, but don’t stop there – this design comes in 4 different styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Choose your favorite and we’ll make it just for you.

The Good Stuff

• 🎨 Looks Fresh, Stays Fresh – High-res DTG printing captures every detail. Machine-wash friendly.
• 🧵 Skin-Friendly & Soft – OEKO-TEX certified Gildan® fabric. No harsh chemicals, just pure comfort.
• 👕 Fits Like It Should – Classic cut, taped neck & shoulders, tear-away label. Nothing scratchy, nothing awkward.
• 🇺🇸 Good Cotton, Good Vibes – US Cotton Trust Protocol member. Sustainable, premium, American-grown.

Fabric & Construction

• Cotton Tees & Long Sleeves: 100% US cotton at 5.3–6 oz – naturally soft and breathable.
• Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 50/50 Heavy Blend (8 oz) – pill-resistant with spandex cuffs & waistband.
• Sport Grey is 90/10 cotton/poly for a heathered look.

Color & Size Guide

Find your size and pick your color – it’s that easy:

1. Find your color in the chart above.
2. Match your measurements to the size guide.
3. Add to cart and check out securely.

When Will It Arrive?

• ✅ Production: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 USA Standard: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ USA Rush: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 International: 1–2 weeks.

All items are custom printed after purchase. Please measure carefully and check the size guide. Returns for incorrect sizing are not accepted. Questions? Just message us – we’re happy to help!

🛒 See our full range at DistortTees.com. Premium quality, every single time.