Official Dad You Are Smooth Like Quagmire Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Premium DTG Printed Apparel – Made to Order

Soft enough to sleep in. Cool enough to post about. Every piece is DTG-printed on premium Gildan® fabric for colors that pop and comfort that lasts.

📸 Mockup is a tee – but we’ve got you covered. This design ships on 4 styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck & Hoodie. Your call, your style, made just for you.

The Good Stuff

• 🎨 Studio-Grade Print – Eco-friendly DTG ink that bonds permanently. No cracking, no flaking, period.
• 🧵 Premium Feel – Genuine Gildan® blanks. Ultra Cotton for tees, Heavy Blend for hoodies. You’ll feel the difference.
• 👕 Designed for Real Life – Classic silhouette, taped shoulders, itch-free tear-away label. Wear it anywhere.
• 🇺🇸 Sustainably Sourced – US Cotton Trust Protocol. From farm to fabric – responsible at every step.

Material Details

• T-Shirt & Long Sleeve: Pure cotton (5.3–6 oz) – breathable comfort, durable construction.
• Fleece (Sweatshirt & Hoodie): 8 oz cotton/poly blend – warm, smooth surface, anti-pill finish.
• Sport Grey uses a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for its signature heathered tone.

Choose Your Style

Use the charts below to pick your ideal color and size:

1. Use the color chart to explore your options.
2. Check the size chart for measurements.
3. Select, add to cart, and enjoy!

Delivery & Handling

• ✅ Production: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 USA Standard: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ USA Rush: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 International: 1–2 weeks.

All items are custom printed after purchase. Please measure carefully and check the size guide. Returns for incorrect sizing are not accepted. Questions? Just message us – we’re happy to help!

🛒 More to love at DistortTees.com. Designed for you, printed with pride.