Official Dear Santa All I Want Is A Fat Bank Account And A Skinny Body Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Fresh Design, Premium Fabric – Printed Just for You

Not to be dramatic, but this might be the upgrade your wardrobe’s been waiting for. Premium Gildan® fabric, fade-proof DTG print, and a fit that feels like it was made for you.

📸 Mockup is a tee – but we’ve got you covered. This design ships on 4 styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck & Hoodie. Your call, your style, made just for you.

Why Everyone’s Grabbing This

• 🎨 Looks Fresh, Stays Fresh – High-res DTG printing captures every detail. Machine-wash friendly.
• 🧵 Feels Like a Hug – Gildan® fabric with OEKO-TEX certified dyes. Premium comfort from the inside out.
• 👕 Comfort First, Always – Taped neck, reinforced shoulders, tear-away tag. Built for all-day wearability.
• 🇺🇸 Trust the Source – Made with US Cotton Trust Protocol cotton. Premium from seed to stitch.

What It’s Made Of

• T-Shirt & Long Sleeve: Pure cotton (5.3–6 oz) – breathable comfort, durable construction.
• Crewneck & Hoodie: 50/50 blend at 8 oz – pill-resistant fleece with spandex ribbing.
• Fabric note – Sport Grey (90/10 cotton/poly) has a slight poly blend for that classic heather finish.

Pick Your Color & Size

Choose your favorite color and find the perfect fit:

1. Browse colors and compare with the chart.
2. Use the size guide for the best fit.
3. Add to cart and you’re all set!

Shipping Details

• ✅ Crafted in: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 Standard US: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ Express US: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 International: 7–14 business days.

Your order is freshly printed just for you. Make sure to check the size chart before ordering. Size exchanges aren’t possible for made-to-order items, but we’re here if you need anything.

🛒 Check out DistortTees.com for the latest drops. Premium apparel, always.