Official I Wish I Had Serotonin Instead Of A Huge Cock Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Premium DTG Printed Apparel – Made to Order

You didn’t come here to blend in. Vibrant DTG print on genuine Gildan® blanks – bold design, premium comfort, the whole package.

📸 What you see is a T-Shirt mockup, but don’t stop there – this design comes in 4 different styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Choose your favorite and we’ll make it just for you.

The Good Stuff

• 🎨 Colors That Stay – Advanced DTG ink bonds with every fiber. Wash it 50 times – still looks fresh.
• 🧵 Skin-Friendly & Soft – OEKO-TEX certified Gildan® fabric. No harsh chemicals, just pure comfort.
• 👕 Throw It On & Go – Relaxed unisex fit with reinforced shoulders. Comfortable from morning to midnight.
• 🇺🇸 Cotton Done Right – Sourced under the US Cotton Trust Protocol. Premium quality, responsibly grown.

Fabric & Construction

• T-Shirt & Long Sleeve: 100% US cotton, 5.3–6 oz – soft, breathable, classic fit.
• Heavy Blend Fleece: 8 oz, 50/50 cotton/polyester – cozy warmth with pill-resistant durability.
• Note: Sport Grey contains a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for color consistency.

Size & Color Options

Find your size and pick your color – it’s that easy:

1. Check the color and size chart above.
2. Select your style, color, and size.
3. Add to cart and proceed to checkout.

Shipping Details

• ✅ Production Time: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 US Delivery: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ US Rush Option: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 Rest of World: 1–2 weeks.

Each piece is printed on demand after you order. Double-check your size before checkout. Size-related returns aren’t available, but reach out if you need any help – we’ve got you.

🛒 Check out DistortTees.com for the latest drops. Premium apparel, always.