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Unique Graphic Wear — DTG Printed on Gildan® Blanks
Not to be dramatic, but this might be the upgrade your wardrobe’s been waiting for. Premium Gildan® fabric, fade-proof DTG print, and a fit that feels like it was made for you.
📸 Seeing a T-Shirt? That’s just the preview! This exact design is also available on Long Sleeve, Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Just choose your style — we print and ship it your way.
Here’s Why It’s Worth It
- 🎨 Zero Compromise — Vivid, detailed DTG print. Throw it in the wash — the design isn’t going anywhere.
- 🧵 Quality on Another Level — Gildan® Ultra Cotton & Heavy Blend. Responsibly dyed, ridiculously soft.
- 👕 Fits Like It Should — Classic cut, taped neck & shoulders, tear-away label. Nothing scratchy, nothing awkward.
- 🇺🇸 Wear It With Pride — Made with American cotton from the US Cotton Trust Protocol. Quality from the ground up.
Fabric Specs
- T-Shirt & Long Sleeve: 100% US cotton, 5.3–6 oz — soft, breathable, classic fit.
- Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 50/50 cotton/polyester (8 oz) — warm, pill-resistant, rib with spandex.
- Note: Sport Grey contains a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for color consistency.
Color & Size Guide
Choose your favorite color and find the perfect fit:
Available Colors
Gildan 5000 — Unisex T-Shirt
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 36 in (91.4 cm) |
| M | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86.4 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
Gildan 18000 — Unisex Sweatshirt
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) | 33.5 in (85.09 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) | 34.5 in (87.63 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) | 35.5 in (90.17 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) | 36.5 in (92.71 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) | 37.5 in (95.25 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) | 38.5 in (97.79 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) | 39.5 in (100.33 cm) |
Gildan 18500 — Unisex Hoodie
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) |
Gildan 2400 — Unisex Long Sleeve Tee
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27.95 in (71 cm) | 36.22 in (92 cm) | 33.46 in (85 cm) |
| M | 29.13 in (74 cm) | 40.16 in (102 cm) | 35.04 in (89 cm) |
| L | 29.92 in (76 cm) | 44.09 in (112 cm) | 36.61 in (93 cm) |
| XL | 31.1 in (79 cm) | 48.03 in (122 cm) | 38.19 in (97 cm) |
| 2XL | 31.89 in (81 cm) | 51.97 in (132 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 3XL | 33.07 in (84 cm) | 55.91 in (142 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 4XL | 33.86 in (86 cm) | 59.84 in (152 cm) | 38.98 in (99 cm) |
Tap a style above to view its chart. Measured laid flat.
- Check the color and size chart above.
- Select your style, color, and size.
- Add to cart and proceed to checkout.
Shipping & Delivery
- ✅ Production: 1–3 business days.
- 📦 USA Standard: 3–7 business days.
- ⚡ USA Rush: 3–5 business days.
- 🌍 International: 1–2 weeks.
Every item is made to order just for you. Please verify your size using the chart above. We can’t accept returns for sizing errors, but we’re always here to help if something isn’t right.
🛒 Shop the full catalog at distorttees.com. Bold designs, premium comfort.