Original Dear Santa I Need A Fat Bank Account And A Skinny Body Dont Mix Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Statement Apparel – Premium Quality, Printed on Demand

Warning: once you feel this fabric, your other tees are getting benched. Gildan® Ultra Cotton meets studio-quality DTG printing. Comfort and color that actually last.

📸 The image shows a T-Shirt preview, but this design is ready on T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Select your variant and we’ll craft it to order.

What Makes It Hit Different

• 🎨 No Cheap Print Here – We don’t do vinyl or heat press. Pure DTG – ink in the fabric, color that lasts.
• 🧵 Quality on Another Level – Gildan® Ultra Cotton & Heavy Blend. Responsibly dyed, ridiculously soft.
• 👕 Throw It On & Go – Relaxed unisex fit with reinforced shoulders. Comfortable from morning to midnight.
• 🇺🇸 Trust the Source – Made with US Cotton Trust Protocol cotton. Premium from seed to stitch.

Fabric Specs

• Cotton Tees & Long Sleeves: 100% US cotton at 5.3–6 oz – naturally soft and breathable.
• Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 50/50 cotton/polyester (8 oz) – warm, pill-resistant, rib with spandex.
• Sport Grey uses a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for its signature heathered tone.

Size & Color Options

Not sure about sizing? Check our charts below:

1. Browse colors and compare with the chart.
2. Use the size guide for the best fit.
3. Add to cart and you’re all set!

Delivery Info

• ✅ Production: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 USA Standard: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ USA Rush: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 International: 1–2 weeks.

Each piece is printed on demand after you order. Double-check your size before checkout. Size-related returns aren’t available, but reach out if you need any help – we’ve got you.

🛒 Explore more designs at DistortTees.com – quality you can count on.