Original Golden Retriever Never Hold Your Farts Travel Up Your Spine Into Your Brain Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Original Design – Soft Cotton, Vibrant Print

Soft enough to sleep in. Cool enough to post about. Every piece is DTG-printed on premium Gildan® fabric for colors that pop and comfort that lasts.

📸 Seeing a T-Shirt? That’s just the preview! This exact design is also available on Long Sleeve, Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Just choose your style – we print and ship it your way.

What Makes It Hit Different

• 🎨 Print That Pops – DTG-printed directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling – just bold, vivid color.
• 🧵 Comfort-Level: 10/10 – Gildan® blanks with OEKO-TEX certified dyes. Soft on skin, gentle on the planet.
• 👕 Comfort First, Always – Taped neck, reinforced shoulders, tear-away tag. Built for all-day wearability.
• 🇺🇸 Trust the Source – Made with US Cotton Trust Protocol cotton. Premium from seed to stitch.

What It’s Made Of

• Tees & Long Sleeves: 5.3–6 oz, 100% US cotton – light enough for summer, layerable for fall.
• Heavy Blend Fleece: 8 oz, 50/50 cotton/polyester – cozy warmth with pill-resistant durability.
• Note: Sport Grey contains a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for color consistency.

Find Your Perfect Fit

Reference the charts below before you order:

1. Use the color chart to explore your options.
2. Check the size chart for measurements.
3. Select, add to cart, and enjoy!

Shipping Details

• ✅ Production Time: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 US Delivery: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ US Rush Option: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 Rest of World: 1–2 weeks.

This is a made-to-order product. Please confirm your size with the chart above. We don’t offer exchanges for wrong sizes, but our team is happy to assist with any concerns.

🛒 Visit DistortTees.com for more styles. Crafted with care, delivered with love.