Original With Old Age Comes New Skills You Can Sneeze Fart And Piss Yourself All Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee

Original Design – Soft Cotton, Vibrant Print

The kind of piece that gets compliments on day one and still looks fresh six months later. Printed on Gildan® apparel with fade-resistant DTG ink. Built for your lifestyle.

📸 Mockup is a tee – but we’ve got you covered. This design ships on 4 styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck & Hoodie. Your call, your style, made just for you.

Why Everyone’s Grabbing This

• 🎨 Studio-Grade Print – Eco-friendly DTG ink that bonds permanently. No cracking, no flaking, period.
• 🧵 Fabric That Delivers – Gildan® Ultra Cotton & Heavy Blend. Soft, durable, certified low-impact dyes.
• 👕 Fits Like It Should – Classic cut, taped neck & shoulders, tear-away label. Nothing scratchy, nothing awkward.
• 🇺🇸 From American Farms – US Cotton Trust Protocol certified. The good stuff, sourced the right way.

Fabric & Construction

• Tees & Long Sleeves: 5.3–6 oz, 100% US cotton – light enough for summer, layerable for fall.
• Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 8 oz, 50/50 cotton/poly blend – cozy, durable, resists pilling.
• Fabric note – Sport Grey (90/10 cotton/poly) has a slight poly blend for that classic heather finish.

Choose Your Style

Reference the charts below before you order:

1. Find your color in the chart above.
2. Match your measurements to the size guide.
3. Add to cart and check out securely.

When Will It Arrive?

• ✅ Production Time: 1–3 business days.
• 📦 US Delivery: 3–7 business days.
• ⚡ US Rush Option: 3–5 business days.
• 🌍 Rest of World: 1–2 weeks.

Every item is made to order just for you. Please verify your size using the chart above. We can’t accept returns for sizing errors, but we’re always here to help if something isn’t right.

🛒 Visit DistortTees.com for more styles. Crafted with care, delivered with love.