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DistortTees
Premium Goose Because Adulting Without Jesus Is Just Too Hard Funny Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Premium Goose Because Adulting Without Jesus Is Just Too Hard Funny Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Regular price
$18.94 USD
Regular price
$26.94 USD
Sale price
$18.94 USD
Taxes included.
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Quantity
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Statement Apparel – Premium Quality, Printed on Demand
That feeling when someone stops you and says “yo, where’d you get that?” – that’s what this is. Premium Gildan® cotton, DTG-printed so the colors hit different and never fade. Your new go-to, trust us.
📸 The photo features a T-Shirt, but you’re not limited to that! This design is available on T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Pick your style and we handle the rest.
Why You’ll Love It
- 🎨 Colors That Stay – Advanced DTG ink bonds with every fiber. Wash it 50 times – still looks fresh.
- 🧵 Quality on Another Level – Gildan® Ultra Cotton & Heavy Blend. Responsibly dyed, ridiculously soft.
- 👕 Put It On, Forget It’s There – That’s how comfortable this is. Taped shoulders, tear-away label, classic fit.
- 🇺🇸 Wear It With Pride – Made with American cotton from the US Cotton Trust Protocol. Quality from the ground up.
Fabric & Construction
- T-Shirt & Long Sleeve: Pure cotton (5.3–6 oz) – breathable comfort, durable construction.
- Fleece (Sweatshirt & Hoodie): 8 oz cotton/poly blend – warm, smooth surface, anti-pill finish.
- Sport Grey uses a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for its signature heathered tone.
Color & Size Guide
Browse colors and sizes to find your perfect match:


- Review the color & size charts.
- Select your preferred options.
- Place your order – easy as 1-2-3.
Shipping & Delivery
- ✅ Production: 1–3 business days.
- 📦 USA Standard: 3–7 business days.
- ⚡ USA Rush: 3–5 business days.
- 🌍 International: 1–2 weeks.
Every item is made to order just for you. Please verify your size using the chart above. We can’t accept returns for sizing errors, but we’re always here to help if something isn’t right.
🛒 Visit DistortTees.com for more styles. Crafted with care, delivered with love.
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